Warning

The following views are those solely of Evan Nay, and do not in any way, shape, or form depict the opinions or views of potential viewers.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

shopping vs. spending money

I'm not exactly sure if there is a legitimate difference between shopping and simply spending money, but the way I see it there is a clear distinction between them. Shopping implies you have list, a certain item maybe, or at least a few stores in mind to look at. Spending money says you have no idea what you're doing and you simply want to acquire things in exchange for sliding a piece of plastic and/or parting with some green paper.

I've discovered I hate shopping, but I love spending money.

Shopping can take a long time. No one wants to wait for sales or in long lines. Parking at your store of choice when said sales are in existence is a pain, and above everything else, I'm not good at having something in mind ahead of time of what I really want. I seem to think it's more exciting to go someplace not knowing what you will be carrying out with you when you leave. Plus, I can't stand on my feet for very long without being enticed by some sort of merchandise, so if there is a lull in my 'shopping' I find myself very tired and I just want to go home.

Spending money can be done anywhere, at any time. There is technically no limit to how much you can spend or what you can spend it on, provided it fits in your credit limit. You can spend money in stores, at restaurants, gas stations, coffee shops, online from your own house, and pretty much anywhere in between. I feel rich buying things. Let this be lesson number one: you need not be rich to feel rich, you merely have to act rich. Do I walk into a mall or even a Wal-mart, Sears, Target, or Nordstroms with the faintest idea of what I want to walk out with? Nope. Do I feel excited at the possiblity of coming out owning something new? Um, yes.

The problem lies in the feeling you get after you've bought the things and sit down later to think how much better off you are because of your purchase. Do those shoes make you any better? Contribute to your life in any way that will last more than a few mere hours on Friday night? Does that Whiskey River Barbecue Chicken Burger from Red Robin seem worth the $12 dollar you spent for it (provided you tipped)? Maybe...ok, not at all. But that campfire sauce....

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

iPhone blues

Today, four years ago, the iPhone was introduced. A device that would and did revolutionize cellular phone devices, and set the bar for newer, competing technologies. I would like to take this opportunity now to congratulate Android for - in less than three years - passing the iPhone in capabilities, being a heck of a lot cheaper, and offering a totally customizable experience.

4 years ago the iPhone had it all. 4 years later I'm wondering why does Apple still call it 'innovation'? iOS 5?? That's called Android 2010.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

my favorite gym misconceptions

When you spend hours at the gym every week, you notice things. Sometimes you notice the people who are getting results, turning heads, and enjoying their progress. Other times, however, you notice the people who, while being at the gym every single day, don't look any different from the way they did on day one. It's these people I usually want to talk to, just to ask questions like, "What are your goals? What are you training for? What different exercises do you do in training for that event?" I don't know if they could honestly answer any of these questions. It bothers me. So, without further delay, here's my personal list of favorite 'gym' misconceptions.

6. I saw this other guy doing it, so it's a good exercise for me. This is a timeless classic among gym members. That one guy who was doing some sort of bent over barbell row looked good doing it and so now I'm going to too. The problem lies in not understanding if the guy you observed was doing it right, with good form. Additionally, depending on your goals vs. his goals, you may not want to do that exercise...it may waste of time.

5. Age is a state of mind, therefore it doesn't matter how old you are, just do the following exercises. Wrong. Just wrong. Age is huge. Can consistent daily workouts over the course of a lifetime slow regression of movements? Yes. Does that mean that a 22 year old and a 75 year old are one and the same in the weight room even if the 75 year old has worked out every day of his life? No. I hate watching trainers put old men and women through routines that they put a 21 year old basketball player through earlier that day. Did you forget to take notes during Motor Development?

4. The longer I stay in the gym, the better my results. I suppose there could be a kernel of truth in that statement but, for the most part, its false. A workout by yourself on average will last around 30-45 minutes, depending on your training. Spending an hour, or an hour and a half even in the gym doesn't necessarily guarantee you any boosted results. Odds are you are spending that time observing the plasma screen TV's provided by your gym, or looking through the latest Men's Health magazine, or even just talking to a guy you know (Lord forbid you find yourself talking to a girl in the gym, fellas....cliche much?) Keeping it short but to the point may actually be more beneficial than an extra 30 minutes in the gym, with only 10 of those minutes actually spent doing anything useful.

3. I'm a girl, and if I lift weights I'll bulk up. Um, no. Girls often time believe that they will gain weight (albeit muscle weight) if they so much as pick up a weight. This is simply not true. Some guys have a hard time putting on weight with hours of weight lifting and supplements to spare. You, ladies, have very little - if anything - to worry about because you lack testosterone, and without that, you aren't likely to actually build bulky muscles. That's not to say you won't build lean muscle, but you have no need to fear of suddenly gaining 10lbs of muscle from using anything other than the treadmill.

2. Lower intensity burns more fat, so if I want to lose weight I should work out at low intensity. I don't think this one will ever go away. The problem lies in the small amount of truth hidden in this misconception. Lower intensity workout for an hour will hypothetically burn 500 calories, lets say 400 of which come from fat. However, that same time at the gym, working at a higher intensity will, hypothetically again, burn 850 calories, 250 of which came from fat. So yes, lower intensity burns more fat (400>250) but higher intensity burned more calories (850>500) which has a much greater influence on weight loss.

1. I workout every day for an hour, so I need sports drinks like Gatorade to help fuel me. I think the companies that make these products should be forced to put labels on their bottles that specifically state the needs for such drinks. These drinks (especially the new Gatorade G series) are not for everyone. Athletes, people who spend hours in the gym every day and play sports that require endurance, as well as quick bursts, will need to replenish their fuel stores (primarily carbs) but those of us who go the gym from 5-6 every day to jump on a treadmill or lift weights in front of a mirror need not to think ourselves - or our results - dependent on these drinks. They may actually do more to hinder your goals than to achieve them.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

5k


I love that episode of 'The Office' where Pam has to inform Michael Scott that 5k doesn't mean 5,000 miles, but 5 kilometers. It may just as well represent 5,000 miles because as small of a race as 3.1 miles actually is, it has been difficult for me to do.

I've never ran for sport, or for fun as some put it. I run when I need to when I play soccer, or basketball, or football, but running for the sake of running hasn't ever seemed appealing to me. I'm more into HIIT workouts, or free weights. I won't be 22 forever though. I don't want to look back and ask myself, "I wonder if I could have done a 5k, or a half marathon, or a full marathon..?..guess I'll never know." I want to be able to say, "I did it."

Baby steps, people. 5k is a good starting point. 3.1 miles at the snail pace of about 8.5 minutes per mile would equal about 26 minutes, right? That isn't a good time, but it's a time and I'm not really about the speed as much as I am about consistency as well as the experience.

There are two 5k's coming up in July and I plan on doing both of them. The downside is, as of now, I have no idea what the course is and so I feel that even if I can run 3.1 miles comfortably by the day of the race, I may be annoyed to find that the course has some serious hills. I simply do not run up hills for fun. We draw the line at hills.

Now, if I can just find a way to make running more enjoyable. Ideas?

Friday, June 24, 2011

Pajama Pant Rant

If your a regular reader (I amuse myself sometimes by imagining I have regular readers) you might see that I do find it easy, and almost treat it as a service to my fellow man, to call out certain fashion statements. I don't understand fashion. I look for cheap and comfortable. The 2 C's of fashion, that's how I roll. Nevertheless, it's time to lay down the law on the pajama pants. I think I'll make a weekly "Friday Fashion Rant". Let's get started.

Firstly, I know you all are looking for the answers to the questions, "Why were pajama pants invented? Who sleeps in pants?" I haven't the slightest on either of these. It seems to me someone now rich, but before very poor, suddenly had the idea that there needed to be a scrub-like pant invented that could have any number of abstract prints put upon its stitches: Jalepenos with flames, Santa Clause, snowflakes, donuts, Homer Simpson, jolly rogers, and every single alcoholic beverage known to man.

I imagine the dialogue of this inventor with his friend, days before said invention:

I: "Imagine a pant that no one would wear, except before bed and right when they wake up, that was able to define you through cartoon flames, and alcoholic beverages that only high school kids drink!"

F: "Yes, I can see it now, a pant that is fundamentally designed to not match or look good, or even remotely go with any shoe possibly designed."

I: "Precisely, Watson. Pants that will forever change sleep-overs, slumber parties, birthday parties, and Wal-Mart shopping forever!"

Unfortunately, for the entire race of humans on the earth today, the plan didn't work, the public adopted the pajama-pant-just-got-out-of-bed-and-now-I'm-at-Denny's-and-I-don't-have-the-decency-to-put-on-real-clothes style, and a new "I-don't-give-a-hoot" age was born. Instead, we are now a nation that is satisfied with getting out of bed, putting on fake clothes, and locking the door behind us. Couple that with a past rant on the Boot Epidemic and you have just descbribed Idaho, Oregon, Washington, most of Utah, and every Wal-Mart parking lot in existence.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

tough crowd, tough crowd

Recently, the news has taken up a story with a Marine Leiutenant Colonel. Instead of the story dealing with how he helps ensure our nations freedoms and keep the peace, it's about his 'inappropriate' remarks during a baseball game in which he - while being in Cardinals live broadcast booth - suggested using a tank to stop Philadelphia pitcher Roy Halladay from doing what he does best...throw strikes.

Observe:

Col. Tomko: I'll tell you what, with that M1A1 Abrams(tank) we got across the street, if Halladay keeps on pitching well, we can fix that with one round pretty quickly.

Cards broadcaster Dan McLaughlin: - awkward laugh - I'm sure you could. I don't know if we should say that, but you just did.

Now, maybe I am the only one who gets the joke, or maybe we live in a world where we've finally reached the breaking point. What is it about this remark that renders it worthy of national news? What does it say about the sense of humor of the world today? I personally think it was funny. Not only the joke itself but that it came from a Marine. I mean, is that not something a Marine would say? Do we really think Col. Tomko was seriously contemplating, or advocating, jumping into an M1A1 tank, driving it across the street, through a wall of the stadium, taking aim at Roy Halladay and letting one go, leaving not a pitchers mound but a pitchers crater in its wake?

I have to think we've officially lost it. Maybe Led Zeppelin's lead singer Robert Plant's question to the fans during a live performance of Stairway to Heaven needs to be echoed worldwide once again. "Does anyone remember laughter?"

QR hunt


I recently entered a scavenger hunt the campus was putting on for a few cool prizes. I don't usually get involved in things like this, but when the prizes include possible iPad's, Bikes, and decent jewelry (I have a wife), I really must take advantage of the opportunities.

The scavenger hunt is open to anyone with a phone new enough and smart enough to read QR codes. QR codes are the relatively new way of doing bar codes. QR codes are square, and, well, I'll show you one. This is a QR code for the android market I believe, scan at your own risk. The beauty of these codes is that your phone can read them and then the code tells your phone to do something (usually along the lines of giving you a discount to a certain store, or taking you directly to their website).

This scavenger hunt began by giving you the first QR code and then giving you a hint to find the next business in town that would have the next QR code, as well as a mobile coupon type thing for that business. It was pretty fun, didn't take long, and now I am entered to win an iPad, probably along with 700 other people.

But I got $1.00 off ice cream coupons to spare!